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No one talks about the ADHD kid who grows up to be the adult who feels like they're always falling short.

Here's why the ADHD kid grew up feeling like a disappointment. It was a constant stream of critique. They were too much, too loud. Too emotional, to distracted. Or maybe they were told they were not enough. Not focused enough. Not trying hard enough. Not responsible enough. No matter what, the message was clear. There's something wrong with them.

The ADHD kid learned early that mistakes weren't safe. Every forgotten task every late assignment, every lost item became proof that you were lazy and careless or not paying attention. So you started hiding your struggles. You learned to mask because you are an outcast, different from the rest. You learned to shut down completely to recoup from your exhaustion. This greatly affected your interpersonal development skills. Highly sensitive to rejection, but wanting to have love and affection and just a sense of connection.

Maybe, your father was absent, emotionally unavailable or constantly disappointed in you. Maybe your mother relied on your for emotional support placing responsibilities on you that you weren't ready for. Either way, not only were your basic needs unmet, you were also not given a safe place to be a child who struggled.

So you became the kid who tried to fix everything around you because you were taught you were only valuable for what you did. Now as an adult you carry deep shame for everything you lost, friends, careers, or feeling like you were never in love. It's just that no one told you that your brain worked differently. They just made you feel like you were broken

Now as an adult that shame still follows you when your partner asks for help you hear you're not doing enough. When your job demands more structure you hear you are incapable when life gets overwhelming your brain tells you that you will never get it together. You get reactive, defensive, you spend your entire life trying to prove yourself.

You want to be present for your partner, for your children, for yourself, but you don't know how to slow down without feeling like you're failing. As an ADHD adult. You can heal once you realize your work isn't based on how productive you are. Your past struggles do not define your future. You are allowed to have needs too. Understanding your brain chemistry, unlearning the shame because it's not your fault. Let's start there .

If you are anything like me, we can heal and overcome our cognitive challenges if the right support systems in place. Having someone to talk to is a catalyst to the improvement of our mental health.

You are not alone and you deserve to be heard and understood.